Black Hole in Cyberspace

Despite what many of you may believe, I've been blogging a lot lately. A whole lot. I'm talking hundreds of posts. All you have to do if you want to read them is get inside my head. Seriously, I find myself thinking about stuff I'd like to write about all the time. Then, I don't do it. Oh, I'm online plenty. I've got free time, some anyway. I could get the job done, but I choose not to.

And yet yesterday I'm reminded of the power of the internet. Xav had a friend over yesterday who asked whether I owned the MCG. "Umm, no, not me. I like it though, go all the time. Why do you ask?" "Because when you search it you see a picture of Xav and Mar." Sure enough, the kid was right. WTF -- I DO own the MCG. And even though I can't call myself a blogger anymore, it's clear the power of the blog lives on.

Doc and I were talking a while back about my lack of written flow. She commented that she thought the reason I don't post anymore is because I don't need it. Interesting. She knows I'm a blabbering sort and figures that back when I was getting into this mess I needed an outlet to express myself. I am more comfortable with this whole SAHD deal and thus do have less to talk about on the whole anxiety front. The Frasier in her may have been onto something. I didn't want to write a diary blog about the daily antics/cuteness of my kids (though I admit to travelling down that road on occasion). The struggle with personal identity, missing work -- all of that is, for the most part, gone (emphasis on "for the most part). But I'm not sure I should wax so poetic about it all. Rather, I see myself as rather pathetic. I like blogs. Read them all the time. And I like stay-at-home fatherhood. Two-and-a-half years and counting. But deep down I know the real reason why I haven't blogged as much is likely more to do with pure laziness than it the fact I have little to say. Those who know me know best -- I ALWAYS have something to say.

No promises, now. I may disappear out of cyberspace and back into real space, to be heard from but rarely. I don't pretend to think y'all miss me. But I do miss blogging. Unfortunately, it typically rests in the mid 20s of a to-do list that I rarely get past ten on.